Questlog

March 5, 2019

#1: Truth

5:02 AM

This is a devotional type thing that I wrote a while back when I was struggling with identity and doubt. More of this kind of stuff can be found on the Works page under Prose and Poetry.

What is happiness without Christ?

What is meaning without a Savior?

What is purpose without grace?

What is joy without truth?

For where there is uncertainty, there is darkness.

And where there is darkness, there is fear.

And where there is fear, there is suffering, and anxiety, and sadness, and pain, a thousandfold.

Yet this world has no absolutes; only the ones we give value to.

In my times of doubt, I am weak, for I do not believe the one certainty that I’ve been told.

The one truth that there is a loving God whose Spirit lives within me, and has made a great sacrifice in order to give my life meaning.

My ordinary, meaningless life, filled with the scars and wounds of a tired and weary soul.

For all the glory of this world, all the gold and silver, all the aspirations of an accomplished mind, all the fame of an impactful life, is all but worthless in the face of impending doom.

To know the inevitability of death is to accept a life of nothingness, a tiny speck in an uncaring universe.

And yet who, without Christ, can say, “My life has purpose” or “I am worth more than this”?

To doubt is natural, but to turn away completely is to deny a relationship with the Creator altogether.

The lies of a cruel world will seem to make sense in the face of daunting obstacles and insurmountable struggles.

Because who can know an absolute? Even the laws of the galaxy are but theories, for the world we have been given is not enough to explore the depth and wealth of the spiritual plane.

We have no choice but to trust that this is indeed the truth, and that it will always be the truth.

And this is simply faith.

Faith holds no power in itself. It is but a state of mind and a committed soul. What matters is the truth we decide to ascribe our faith unto.

And if we as Christians choose to place our faith in an omnipotent and omniscient God, then this is truly what power comes from.

Not from our own belief or efforts, but the truth itself.

The truth clears the darkness, and the truth wipes away fear. For as long as I live, for all the damage that’s been done, for every ounce of evil and pain that exists and continues to exist, the truth will never change, because that’s what truth is.

And so even when I doubt, I trust.

For what do we have without trust?

We have no weapons, no knowledge, no forces to stop this earth from tearing our souls apart.

All we have is trust.

I choose to trust, because I have no other choice.

Just as proof has no choice but to follow evidence, I have no other option.

For I have seen and tasted the truth, and I cannot turn away, lest I admit myself to be a liar.

And so in Christ, truth is found.

In Christ, meaning and purpose is renewed.

Even through the storm and the fire, this remains true.

For what is true is true, and what is false is false.

There is simply no other way.