Questlog

July 19, 2018

Day 1

3:12 PM

This is probably like the seventh time I said a day was "day 1 of getting my shit together". What does that even mean? I mean, I woke up at 1:30 PM and then spent the next one and a half hours playing Overwatch, so this hardly counts as a good day already.

I don't really know what constitutes work. Like, for example, if I spend a day just practicing drawing (the skill that I currently suck the most at), and end up just improving by a little bit, does that count as getting work done. After all, those hours of practice don't really have anything to show for themselves, besides a lot of crumpled up, terrible drawings in my wastebasket. Does simply improving and doing something count as work? Or does there actually have to be a product?

Oftentimes I neglect the actual product and just take the fact that I'm "practicing" and therefore improving as enough of a reward for the work. Products involve commitment and planning, and that makes them scary. I've been playing the same jazz transcription of "Welcome to Japari Park" that I wrote over three weeks ago, and I still can't actually play the full song because I haven't put in the effort to learn the parts that aren't fun. Unfortunately, those non-fun parts tie the entire song together, and are ultimately necessary if I ever want to record or produce this cover.

I think work is just really scary for me because I'm always afraid that my time is wasted. I always forget that not doing anything is just as much of a waste of time and that I might as well just enjoy what I'm doing rather than try to expect success out of it.

I don't know how often I'm going to do these. Maybe I'll have non-blog posts where I just showcase something I've been working on or a skill I've been practicing. But that means I have to actually work and not just sit around playing video games and watching anime all day.

Day 1.

Ugh.

- Sam

Edit: wow, this website is pretty janky. Blogger really is a piece of crap. I should probably dig into the HTML and fix it up a bit. But that requires me to learn another skill. Annoying. I'll do it later.

Edit 2 (12/22/2019): This website is no longer janky because I built another one from scratch and it's the one you're on now. Guess if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself (xd).