July 23, 2018

Day 4

6:16 PM

Life is like riding a bicycle. Except that there is no bike, and in its place is an endless torrent of inescapable misery. You suck.

I created a document called "Work" about four months ago that was supposed to help me get back on track and organize what I should do during the daytime. It's open 24/7 on my laptop, but it doesn't really do anything. I guess it just helps me feel a little bit better about wasting time because hey, at least I have this perfect Google Doc that can help me get back on track immediately, right? Probably not.

I realize that all of these blog posts have a pretty similar theme, and I apologize for that. Reading the same thing over and over again is probably of no enjoyment, and running a blog is something that I cannot do if I continue to live the same life that I do right now, which is one of comfort.

This might be a bit of an over-exaggeration in terms of word choice, but I honestly am very addicted to comfort. I like to have no commitments, and I end up doing more or less the same thing every day. My daily life is pretty hassle-free, and that's not how I want it to be. I want to suffer. I want to make mistakes and fail. I want to struggle, because that's the only way I'll improve. Only through pain and adaptation can I evolve.

So I promise: no more of these "woe is me, I suck at working" posts. At least not until I run into some real problems. No more complaints. I'm going to pick up a piece of blank paper now, and I'm going to draw something. Even though I know it's going to be trash. I won't let fleeting motivation be my only source of moving forward. I have to just keep going. Otherwise, what's the point?

Day 4. And I hope the next post has a real title.

- Sam